Software engineer's first time

A software engineer wants to have sex with his wife for the first time. So what does he do? Very simple. He takes a systematic approach.

Step 1: Prepare a document when to have sex (Project kick off).

Step 2: Prepare a 200 page document for how long you want to have sex (Project plan).

Step 3: Read various books on sex and consult as many friends a possible. On the basis of this, prepare an SRS document. This document should contain what to have rather how to have sex. (Requirement gathering phase)

Step 4: Then decide and prepare a document on how to have sex. (Design phase)

Step 5: Prepare what other accessories are needed in order to have sex. (Project framework)

Step 6: Then prepare two dummy wives and show to your wife how you are going to have sex with her. (UI Mockup and prototype)

Step 7: If your wife is not satisfied, then redo the work from step 2.

Step 8: If your wife is satisfied, you actually start having sex with her and you find that there are a few problems with the accessories. (Change framework)

Step 9: Redo step 5.

Step 10: At last finish having sex with her and go to bathroom and have a bath. (Coding over)

Step 11: Make sure that you had your sex properly. Send your wife to an obstetrician and make sure that she is not pregnant. (Testing)

Step 12: Doctor reports that your wife is pregnant. You break your head and send your wife for an abortion. (Bug in software)

Step 13: Your wife says that the quality of sex was not good. (User acceptance test)

Step 14: You slog and try to improve the quality of sex by adding new features to it.

Step 15: Now your wife says that the quality is good but it takes too much time. (Performance issue)

Step 16: Again you slog and try to improve your performance.

Step 17: Wife is happy!!!!!!!!

And by this time your wife gets old and you loose interest in having sex with her.

(आज़ाद)