कहाँ हो?

हे मर्यादापुरुषोत्तम राम, कहाँ हो?
हे गिरिधर घनश्याम, कहाँ हो?

कि धरा पर पाप बढ़ेगा जब-जब
पापियों का संहार करने आऊँगा तब-तब,
ऐसा कहने वाले श्याम, कहाँ हो?
हे मेरे प्रभु श्रीराम, कहाँ हो?

 कि समा गयी है धरती, तमस की आगोश में,
डूब गयी है रूह, संताप और गहरे रोष में।
 रोशनी दिखाने वाले, हे भगवान कहाँ हो?
हे जग के संरक्षक श्रीराम, कहाँ हो?

भटक गये कई अर्जुन स्वपथ, सात्विकि के इंतज़ार में,
कर रहे शांतिदूत की प्रतीक्षा, इस नैतिकता के सन्हार में,
कि द्रौपदी के आबरु-रक्षक गोपाल कहाँ हो?
धरती कर रही इंतज़ार,कहाँ हो?

--  सिद्धार्थ

केसरिया और हरा

हृदय चीत्कार कर रहा है। आँखें खून के आँसू रो रही हैं। एक आँधी सी चल रही है विचारों की इस मस्तिष्क में। आखिर क्या बिगाड़ा था उस मासूम ने किसी का? एक सफर पे ही तो निकला था, इस बात से अंजान कि वह उसका आखिरी सफर होगा। बिना वजह इतनी कष्टदायक मौत! आखिर कौन राक्षस किसी को जिंदा अग्नी के सुपुर्द कर सकता है! राक्षस ही तो थे। नही तो ऐसा कुकर्म क्यों करते? तीन सौ से ज्यादा लोग मरे। क्या बच्चे, क्या बूढ़े, क्या जवान; आग भी कहीं भेद-भाव करती है क्या!!
इसकी सज़ा मिलनी चाहिए। जब ट्रेन की अग्नि ने भेद-भाव ना किया तो मेरे मन की अग्नि क्यों करे। राक्षसों को मरना होगा। सारी कौम को इसका जबाब देना होगा। ट्रेन के आद्यंत अग्निदेव ने सिर्फ मुझ अकेले के मन में प्रवेश नहीं किया है। और लोग भी सड़कों पर आ चुके हैं। मैं इनका साथ जरूर दूँगा। प्रतिज्ञा करता हूँ कि इस पवित्र यज्ञ में प्रथम आहुति मेरी तरफ से ही चढ़ेगी। उन लोगों ने हमें कमजोर समझ कर बहुत बड़ी भूल की है। उन्हे ये दिखाना होगा कि ज्यादा ताकतवर कौन है। हम अपने भाईयों का बलिदान व्यर्थ नहीं जाने देंगे। आज, अभी, इसी वक़्त इस धरती का शुद्धिकरण होगा, रक्ताभिषेक होगा।
तीन घंटे हो चुके हैं मुझे मौत का ताण्डव करते। ना जाने कितनों के रक्त से इस धरा की प्यास बुझाई है। केसरिया रंग हरे पे भारी पड़ चुका है। और हरा - वो शायद उस भूल पे पछ्ताना शुरु भी कर चुका होगा। ना जाने कितने अतृप्त आत्माओं को शांति दिलाने का श्रेय मुझे जाता है। पर फिर भी ये चित्त अशांत सा क्यों है? क्यो ऐसा लग रहा है कि जो मैं कर रहा हूँ वह सही होकर भी गलत है? रक्तरंजित मेरी कटार अब उठने से इंकार क्यों कर रही है? और अचानक से ये बच्चा कहाँ से सामने आ गया! केसरिया साफा बाँधे, हरे वस्त्र धारण किये, इसका चेहरा शायद भय से सफेद हो गया है। अपनी प्रश्न भरी नीली आँखों से मुझे देख रहा है। क्या ये मेरा वहम मात्र है? इसके हरे कपड़े पर भरोसा करूँ या केसरिया साफे पर? क्या करूँ मैं?


शाम का समय है और रोज़ की तरह साथियों के संग खेल रहा हूँ। खेल-खेल में केसरिया साफा जीता है। हालांकि रंगों की इतनी पहचान अभी नही है मुझे। पर ये अचानक शोरगुल कैसा! मेरे साथी मुझसे दूर क्यों होते जा रहे हैं! मुझे लगता है कि अब घर चलना चाहिये। आज लोगों के माथे पे ये इतनी गहरी शिकन कैसी? अब तो ड़र सा लगने लगा है। जल्दी घर पहुँचता हूँ। अरे! यह धुँआ कैसा? यह तो मेरा घर है। अम्मीSSS... अब्बूSSS... कोई जबाब क्यों नही देता। जाने पहचाने चेहरे ड़रे हुए से भाग रहे हैं। कुछ और चेहरे हाथों में मशाल और तलवार लिये हँस रहे हैं। कोई किसी को मार कर इतना खुश कैसे हो सकता है? क्या ये वही राक्षस हैं जिनके बारे में मास्टरजी ने बताया था? कुछ समझ में नही आ रहा है। वो सामने से शायद खुर्शिद चाचा भागते आ रहे हैं। हाँ, खुर्शिद चाचा ही हैं। मुझे पकड़ कर कही ले जा रहे हैं, छुपने के लिये कह रहे हैं। दंगा क्या होता है? हिंदू मुस्लिम का खून क्यो कर रहे हैं? क्या मुझे भी मार डालेंगे? क्या मेरी गलती सिर्फ इतनी है कि मैं बगल वाले घर में पैदा ना हुआ? वह तो मेरे बस में नही था। फिर ऊपरवाले की गल्ती की सज़ा मुझे क्यों?
ये कौन खड़ा है मेरे सामने कटार लिये? क्या हिंदू है? क्या राक्षस है? मुझे ऐसे क्यों घूर रहा है? कटार उठा ही ली है तो अपना काम पूरा कर। क्या पता अगले जन्म में मैं तेरे घर और तू मेरे घर पैदा हो।

दूर कहीं तिरंगा लहरा रहा है। समानांतर केसरिया और हरा को अपने अंदर समेटे। भय से सफेद पड़े एक क्षीण रेखा से विभाजित। नीले चक्र से नज़रबद्ध्। एक साथ रहने को बाध्य, पर कभी ना मिलने को प्रतिबद्ध।

-- सिद्धार्थ
(लघुकथा के प्रति प्रथम प्रयास)

बड़ी अपनी सी लगती हो

जब-जब यूँ शरमा कर तुम, कुछ हल्के मुस्कुरा देती हो
या पढ़ते-पढ़ते  खयालों में, सर हल्के से हिला देती हो
करते हुए जब कोई बात, इक हल्का धौल जमा देती हो
या ध्यान लगा कर सुनते-सुनते, केशों को सवाँर लेती हो
सच कहता हूँ खुदा की कसम, बड़ी अपनी सी लगती हो।

देखते हुए उन आंखों से जब, पलकें झपका सी लेती हो
या ठंढ़ में अपने हाथों से जब, खुद को ढ़ाँप लेती हो
यूँ ही कुछ समझाते-समझाते, जब फट्कार सी देती हो
गैरों को भी अपना समझ, जब अपना सी लेती हो
सच कहता हूँ खुदा की कसम, बड़ी अपनी सी लगती हो।

- सिद्धार्थ
(रुमानी कविता के प्रति पहला प्रयास)

दुःस्वप्न

खोलो आँखें, बिस्तर छोड़ो,
कि नयी सुबह हो गयी है|
पर सो ही कहाँ पाए थे,
कि शायद नींद ही कहीं खो गयी है|
      जागे हुए थे सोते में भी
      थी हकीकत ही शायद एक सपना सा|
      तडप रहा था, ठिठुर रहा था वो
      न जाने क्यो लगा था कुछ अपना सा|
धुंधली सी थी आकृति उसकी
दूर क्षितिज के कोरों पर|
पास जाने का सोचा तो था
साथ ना दिया इन कदमो ने मगर|
     सुंदर सा एक रास्ता था क्षितिज तक
     सुसज्जित नरम घास के गळीचों से|
     फिर क्यो दुखी, निराश था वो शख्स
     चला होगा तो आख़िर इसी राह पे|
इसी दुविधा को लिए मन में
क्षितिज तक बढ़ चले ये कदम|
पर वह तो एक भ्रम था मात्र
दूरी कभी हो सकी ना कम|
     ढूँढ छटी, कोहरा घटा,
     वह शख्स साफ आया नज़र|
     वो मेरी ही तो आँखें थी जो
     घूर रही थी मुझे उधर|
विचलित सी जैसे पूछ रही हों,
तू भी इसी राह क्यो आया?
यह जिंदगी तो तेरी अपनी है
फिर अपनी राह खुद क्यो ना बनाया?
     तुझमे थी वो क्षमता औ' लगन
     अगर तुझमे होती थोड़ी चाह,
     तो इस रस्ते पे आने के बदले
     बना सकता था एक बेहतर राह|
तभी इसी पथ के छोर पर
एक और आकृति को देखा बैठा,
शायद मुझे पहचानने की कर रहा था कोशिश
मुझसे अंजान, वो मैं ही था|
     उठ बैठा अचानक नींद से
     देखा की भोर हो गयी है|
     उस दिन से लेकर आज तक जैसे
     मेरी नींद सदा के लिए सो गयी है,
     मेरी नींद सदा के लिए सो गयी है||

-- सिद्धार्थ

Reality

Look at yourself

no you can't.

Not in the mirror

It's a mere lateral image.

Not in the pond

It's wavy and blur.

Not in your head

It's a mere projection.

Not through other's eyes

It's not you who are looking.

And when you are tired

just try and stop.

And start enjoying the realities

of this virtual world.

--Sid

अवसर

थी मरूभूमि सी अथाह भयावह रात्रि
पतझड़  के पत्तों सा बिखरा सन्नाटा|
ना ही कोई आहट, ना कोई रव
फिर कौन है जो मंद-मंद बढ़ा चला आ रहा!!
      ना शीत के शूलों का भय,
      ना तम, ना निशचरों का डर,
      बढ़ा आ रहा वह एक लय में
      ना जाने जा रहा है किधर||
है काँधे पर एक फटी सी झोली,
कुछ मैले वस्त्रों का अलंकार|
ना जाने क्या है उसके मन में जो
रुक गया अचनाक एक द्वार|
      कुछ दस्तक सी हुई दरवाज़े पर
      स्पष्ट थी स्फटिक सी वो आवाज़,
      सन्नाटे की मृग-मरीचिका समझ
      जिसे कर दिया गया नज़र-अंदाज़|
बढ़ चला वो आगे लाठी टेकता,
मुख पे लिए मंद मुस्कान|
अपरिचित सा एक अवसर था वो,
जो चल चुका था होने कहीं और मेहरबान||

 -- सिद्धार्थ

परिवर्तन

उस रास्ते की तारीफ करने को शब्द नही मिल रहे| यह रास्ता इतनी सोच-समझ कर बनाया गया है कि ऐसा लगता है मानो इसे बनाने वाला प्राणी सिर्फ सोचता और समझता ही रह गया हो, बनाने का कार्य उसने परमपिता परमेश्वर पर छोड दिया हो| इंसान ने आज तक जितने भी अभियांत्रिकी के गुर ईज़ाद किये हैं, इस सडक को बनाने में उन सभी का इस्तेमाल किया गया है| सडक के किस हिस्से में कितना बडा गढ्ढा होना चाहिये तथा किस शुभ मुहूर्त में उस गड्ढे को कितनी ऊँचाई तक तथा किस किस्म के पत्थर से भरना है, यह भी एक पूर्व निर्धारित योजना के तहत तय किया गया है| इसपर चलता हुआ चार-पहिया वाहन इस प्रकार हिचकोले ख़ाता है मानो संसद में पेश किया जाने वाला लोकपाल बिल हो| और जब कोई दो-पहिया वाहन चालक अपनी जान की बाजी लगाते हुए इस सड़क को पार करने की कोशिश करता है, तब ही उसे अहसास हो पाता है की रिश्वत दे कर लाइसेन्स बनवाने में क्या नुकसान है|

कौन कहता है की सच्ची खुशी सिर्फ़ बच्चो को नसीब होती है| एक बार इस सड़क को सही सलामत पार करने में जिस आनंद का अनुभव होता है, उसकी शब्दो में अभिव्यक्ति लगभग असंभव ही है| ऐसा महसूस होता है मानो द्वितिय विश्व युद्ध की जीत का संपूर्ण श्रेय प्रदान कर दिया गया हो| यदि वाहन भारतीय शैली में निर्मित हो तो बिना उत्सव अथवा मेले के झूले का मज़ा देता है| सोने पे सुहागा, यदि कोई सरकारी ट्रक इस सड़क पे चलता हुआ नज़र आए तो ये कह पाना मुश्किल हो जाता है कि वो ट्रक इस सड़क का बलात्कार कर रहा है या फिर ये सड़क उस ट्रक का|
इस सड़क पे तरह तरह की घटनायें भी होती हैं जिनमे सबसे आम है दुर्घटना| यदि कोई मोटरसाइकल सवार खुद को मौत के कुएँ से बचाते हुए गिर जाए तो तुरंत ५०-६० लोग उसको घेर लेंगे जैसे की सड़क पर किसी महिला का प्रसव हो रहा हो| फिर जीतने मुँह उतनी बातें|
"काफ़ी खून निकल आया है|"
"हाँ देखो, खून से मोटरसाइकल कैसे लाल सुर्ख हो गयी है|"
"वो खून नही है, मोटरसाइकल का रंग है|"
"आपको ज़्यादा पता है क्या?"
फिर देखते हे देखते दुर्घटनास्थल युद्धस्थल में परिवर्तित हो जाता है| और जो बेचारा सवार गिरा था, तब तक होश में आ जाता है और इस महासंग्राम को देख कर घबराते हुए चुपचाप वहाँ से निकल जाता है|
कल फिर कोई गिरेगा, कल फिर वो अपने धर्म, जाती इत्यादि गौण चीज़ों को भुला कर एक होंगे| पर गीता-सार की आख़िरी पंक्ति "परिवर्तन ही संसार का नियम है" को अमान्य करार देती हुई ये सड़क कभी नही बदलेगी|

-- This is a true description of the road from my hostel to plant. You have to ride on it to get the clear picture. :)

अचेत

गिरा करता है शोर क्षिपणी सा
आज भी इन कानो के पर्दों पर |
 होता है प्रहार आज भी
तन्हा, पृथक  से इस दिल पर | 
    हैं सोने को बेचैन ये आँखें
    पर जैसे चुरा ली गयी हो नींद |
    उठ नही पा रहे हैं ये पग
    सारी दुनिया है जिन कदमों पर |
भूल गया है मकसद अपना
पर दुनिया से अन्जान नही
है अचेत सा, अनभिज्ञ सा
पर खोया आत्मसम्मान नही |
   राह कठिन है, किंतु हठ कर
   तू आगाज़ से अंजाम तक चल |
   मंजिल तो मिलेगी ही कभी ना कभी
   बस मंजिल की पहचान तू  कर |

-- सिद्धार्थ 

शीर्षक समझ में नही आ रहा क्या लिखूँ

देख रहा हूँ उस अटल, अद्भुत

अहिंसा के पुजारी को|

देख रहा हूँ कलियुग में इस

नवयुग के सन्यासी को||

       देख रहा हूँ कैसे सारा

       भारतवर्ष आज एक है|

       देख रहा मैं अकल्पनीय

       इक नवनिर्माण की तैयारी को||

एक समय वह भी था देखा 

जब गजनी का आतंक था|

सहमी हुई सी थी सारी धरती

सबके आत्मसम्मान का वो अन्त था|

        मूक-दर्शक सा देख रहा हूँ,

        हजारों गजनियों को करते हुए राज़|

        हैरत हो रही थी कि अब तक

        क्यो ना उठी कोई आवाज||

सोच रहा था किंकर्तव्यविमूढ सा

कब होगा मेरे इस दुर्भाग्य का अन्त|

तभी संघर्ष का बिगुल बजाने

मुझसे आ मिला वो संत||

     गर्व है मुझे मुर्दो के बीच आज

     कोई तो जिन्दा रहता है,

     उस जगह जहाँ कोई मुझे देहली

     औ' कोई दिल्ली कहता है||

-- सिद्धार्थ

The blunder

It has been almost a month since the nation witnessed the so called “drama” involving the high profile Yoga Guru Baba Ramdev and the government of India. This incidence was followed by ameliorated acridness in all the remarks and comments issued by the government of India over the issue. Even the Lokpal Committee was not spared from its wrath and the so called ‘Team Anna’ was virtually threatened by people at prestigious positions. A few statements came from the HRD ministry that clearly reflected the attitude of the government towards common people and corruption.

It was said that the Parliament of India was above the members of the civil society and nowhere in the world is any civil society member ever connected with the drafting of a bill. It was also said that the powers given to a Lokpal, according to Anna’s draft, were such that it would be almost like running a parallel government. Much more was said, but we will focus on these two points for now.

As far as the first point is concerned, maybe it has never happened that any member of civil society has been a part of any bill drafting committee. But then why does India always have to follow some other country. Are we so lame that we can not take a decision of our own or is it the slavery of more than 200 years that makes our nerves shake before we take a decision. There is no answer to why a civil society activist can not be included in the panel as long as the bill was his own idea. He has more insight on what needs to be a part of the bill and how the bill can be prevented from any loopholes. The only reason for not including him in the panel as “it has not happened before” is not acceptable. Mahatma Gandhi was not a Member of Parliament but during the drafting of the constitution he was almost always consulted. But alas! There was no Kapil Sibbal to condemn that at that time.

As far as parallel governance is concerned, I am not sure why that should be a problem at all. If we think of it with a different point of view, we are actually under the governance of two different governments even as I speak. In fact, it is a result of fusion of two types of systems into one: the Parliamentary system and the Presidency system. Hence we are ruled by two state heads viz. the President and the Prime Minister. And the present scenario says that we have someone above The Prime Minister, better known as the madamji. And above all, is the almighty US which interferes in almost all the decisions taken by India. And of course the governance by the God can not be neglected. :P

So how the addition of one more governing body to our nation becomes a problem is still not understandable. In fact a parallel government looks like a good idea to me. Since the present government has failed in delivering results on many issues, it may be concluded that there is a lot of work to be done and the present coalition government is not capable enough to handle so many activities at one time. So, all the issues or the work that is supposed to be done by the government can be classified into two. The first part may contain all the regular work that a government is supposed to do. The second part may contain the issues that can not be solved in one term of government such as corruption, unemployment, black money etc. The second set of job should be handed to the Lokpal, independent of any influence, and answerable only to the Supreme Court. So this would be like two parallel governing authorities inspecting one another. And not only at the center, should the Lokpal have influence even on the grassroots level. It is by the eradication of small weeds that we clean the garden.

Just one question Mr. Sibbal. The Lokpal will not be an elected body. So how can it be compared to the parliament or the government at all? The basic requirement of a democratic government is that it should be elected and that is not the case for Lokpal. In fact the Lokpal is an independent investigating body and should be looked in line with CBI, the only difference being it won’t be answerable to the government.

Although the initiative has been taken, the attitude of the government shows that it will do its best to avoid any strict rule like the Lokpal that will hamper the achieving of their ultimate goal.

Terrorists and us

It’s not even a month since the terrorists attacked the economic heart of India and we, the sufferers, have begun to forget the incident. The celebrative spirit has overcome the fear and terror and all the promises that were made to us seem to have lost somewhere. Only a blur image of whatever has happened remains somewhere in mind of all, but no one seems to care about it anymore. And the bitter truth is that even I do not want to remember that incident anymore. This is how things have always been; may it be the attack on parliament or the half acquisition of Kashmir by our neighbor; we always forget the bad things and forgive those responsible for it. But whenever I think about this, I feel ashamed of myself. At that moment a question arises in my mind: do we have the right to forgive anyone? Are we just a bunch of cowards, acting brave by doing that? A great poet has said in Hindi that only those have the right to forgive who have the power to destroy. The question is: do we have the power to destroy?
Our neighbor responded to the terrorist attacks in a very diplomatic way. At first it seemed that they were actually not involved in all this. But they are showing their true colors now, first by denying the fact that the terrorists were not their aborigines and now saying that they will not hand over the most wanted terrorists to India. They had even made a statement that if needed they will send the ISI officers to India for further investigations. But as soon as the Pak army intervened, our dear neighbors even refused to accept the fact that they have even made a statement like that. And as someone truly said: our neighborhood is suffering from anarchy in the monarchy of its army.
And with LeT warning for beach party on new year and declaring Christmas as evil, and at the same time Taj rebuilding itself and preparing for the new year celebration, I can smell the blood which is yet to be shed and I can see the eyes which never sheds but only makes promises and increase their vote bank. But I still hope this event will bring some rage among our people and will help them build up a mentality of not forgetting whatever happens to them. But I can just hope..

Vande Mataram! A slogan, an emotion, a zeal, that led India to its freedom. Emerging from Bengal, from a book (Anand Math), it spread all over India, proving that India is one despite of its diversity. This slogan was often accompanied by a dress which included Gandhi Topi (or Nehru Topi). This dress can be seen even now: some politicians wear it. And some non-politicians wear them too: in Maharashtra. A symbol that represents a unified India can now be found in any street of Maharashtra and probably one in the streets of Maharashtra. But all at once something happened. Some political figures (I wonder if they really are political figures because their party has never won an election) have classified this state as something different from rest of the India: it’s now called The West India. And in this state only, people from other parts of India (now called North India) are treated as aliens. In a united India, the place which has most number of the people wearing its symbol, Gandhi Topi, has started distinguishing itself from others. Now a days, such a situation has been created that a so called North Indian feels unsecure while even stepping into the state. But those so called politicians have never given a thought to what all this is leading to. What is going happen is that the state of Maharashtra will be ostracized from this country and a time is soon to come when people from this state will feel an equal amount of insecurity while stepping out of their state. All this leading to social and economic instability and who knows, maybe to a civil war. I can see a state of chaos arriving and I can’t do anything to stop it. :(

Obama and Kashmir

The remark that came from Obama is quite surprising. I am not sure if it was just to attract the attention of people and increase the vote bank or if he really meant it. As this dispute is one of the oldest, nearly 61 years, a senate speaking on such an issue will always create noise. But since everyone was so sure that he only was going to be the forty-fourth president of US that I feel that there was no more need for him to attract attention. So did he really mean it?Let me give you an epitome of what he had to say about the issue. He said that he will try to resolve the dispute between India and Pakistan based on Kashmir so that Pakistan can focus more on fighting with Taliban and terrorism. A very valid point made. But let us stop for a moment and ask three very simple questions: Does Pakistan want the same? Does India want the same? Does Kashmir want the same?I know these questions look like somewhat stupid, but when I am referring to India and Pak, I am not implying common people but the leaders. If Pakistan could have wanted, this issue could have been resolved long before. After all, where are all the terrorist camps located? Even if Pak government tried to take some steps towards friendship with India, the Pak army, with an autonomous authority, was always a hindrance. Whatever aid it received from US to fight Taliban and terrorism, it used it against India. So was US helping Pakistan to spread terrorism? A question that Obama must think before taking any further steps to help Pakistan.But Pakistan was not the only culprit. If India has wished, this issue would never have aroused. Only if honorable Pt. Nehru would not have approached UN, the situations would have been different. A Kashmir with no LOC but a border would have made a lot of difference. But let bygones be bygones, what is India doing now? Every political party remembers this issue only when elections come. This has become a political issue, used to create vote bank. This is like if you can’t assure people anything that you are capable of, just pique a sense of discontent in them and become highlighted. Only if India shows the same attitude that China showed on Tibet issue, this issue can come to an end. But that will require lots of courage and will. And I can’t see anyone in current scenario that has an abundance of both. I think Obama’s eyes are sharper than that of mine and he must have recognized someone with that potential. And what about Kashmiries? It is about 61 years and India has not been able to provide peace in the valley. So it does not come as a surprise if the aborigines demand a separate state and complete freedom. But what Hurruyat has been unable to see that once Kashmir is separated from India, this will lead to instability and even more chaos both economically and politically. Instead of separationism, they should cooperate with India to help them and fight the current crisis. Many Kashmiries in the valley and outside the valley have supported Obama’s and welcomed his intervention is this matter. I would only say that “Dear Obama. First watch out your home, fight the financial crisis and if after that you still don’t get enough enervation, come to us. You are most welcome.

A movie. A book. A movie based on a book. Ya right. The book is ‘One night a call center.’ The movie is ‘Hello’. (What else did u expected form me!!)? And one good dialogue in the movie (that’s the only one thing good though.) “Bore wo hote hain jo bore hote hain!” A very beautifully put truth, that we come across in real life. I see many people who enjoy almost everything that they get in life. May it be good or bad. They like to enjoy every moment. At the same time I have also seen people who are never happy. You give them good, they demand for better. This phenomenon is a good practice as one should never be satisfied with oneself, but this is done in such a way that it irritates others. And that is what we call bore. I personally feel that one should avoid being a bore and one should realize when others are getting bored with them. I hope those people read this soon!

I often come across two words. One of them is mania and other is phobia. Mania means morbid desires for something. Phobia is just the opposite. It means extreme fear from something. But recently, I have come across something which I don’t know if I should classify as mania or phobia. And that something is nothing else but CAT. I have seen many loosing hopes as the D-day is coming nearer. But at the same time, I find the same people doing overwhelming struggle with DI and Quant problems, that too on a daily basis. So I am really confused as if this is a CATamania or CATophobia. But whatever it is, may God bless all those souls who are preparing for CAT and may all of them achieve what they want in their life. Amen!

What right do i have...

Won’t tell you the reason, but a few minutes ago I was very angry with someone. But I did not express it at that time. I have a special ability to control myself at times and I think this thing helps many times. At a later point of time it hits you that wow I controlled myself and that is why I am out of that trouble which could have happened.

So I controlled it this time to. And like a philosopher I started to think. And I was lost in my thoughts so deeply that instead of solving my problem, it entangled it completely. The thing was what right do I have to get angry with anyone. What I am is what I am. I am not someone else and someone else is not me. What right do I have to even suggest something to someone? I can do anything because it is I who is doing it. Why should I ask other people to do it? And why should I accept orders from others?

If I feel angry with someone, why is it so? That person is doing something which he/she thinks is right and what I think is wrong. But it’s him/her who is doing it and not me. Then forget about anger, why should I even care for it?

And what the heck I am talking? And whom am I talking to? And who gave me the right to talk? Maybe the one reading it may not agree with the content. And why should someone reading it?

Too many questions and I have no answers. So I give the readers the right to answer and help me out of this confusion.

(Azaad)

Gandhi: A Father

I have absolutely no idea why am I writing it, but I feel something forcing me to do so. No no.. Its not about any political or religious issue. It’s about a movie. It’s about story of a father and his relation with his son. It is a story of a father who considers whole world as his family and anyone who comes after his generation as his child. Yes, you guessed right. It is about Gandhi My Father.

I went to see that movie because I am interested in Gandhi, both in positive and negative aspects. And I like him as a philosopher as much as I hate him as a human being (read freedom fighter). The movie shows the life of Harilal Gandhi, son of barrister Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi. And not to forget, this movie contains scenes which happen to be the favorite incidences of Mr. Tridip Shurud as far as life of Gandhi is concerned.

Gandhi may be the father of the nation, but he could never become a good father. And when Harilal says that “he is the greatest father one can ever have, but I don’t like him as a father”, the audience is compelled to think if Gandhi was right in what he did to his own son. Everyone knows that Harilal wanted to become a barrister like Gandhi. That’s why he went to South Africa. And during the phoenix settlement was his home; Gandhi had opportunities to send him to England for the study of barrister; not once but twice. But he chose to send Chhaganlal in the first instance; who ran away from his studies in 2 weeks and for the second time he sent someone else. Was it because he didn’t trust his own son? Or was it because he wanted to become great? Because both of the times, his selections seemed to be wrong. Harilal was a much better candidate than both of them. And then when he demands to go back to India, Gandhi won’t let him.

So was Harilal wrong when he chose to become a Muslim when he had no money to pay for house rent and Muslims told him that they will do so if he converts to Islam? Was he wrong when he not liked his father? He was a human being, a normal human being. He loved his mother. But the betrayal by his father led him to nowhere.

And finally his life ended six months after the death of his father in an absolutely pitiable condition. And there was no one to claim his dead body. This movie really makes you think that is it sufficient to be a great man in life? Or is it easy to be a great man? Moreover, is it easy to be son of a great man? Everyone is free to make his own decision about this and everyone is correct according to his point of view. These are some questions which have no correct answer and every answer given to these is correct.

So go watch the movie and enjoy it. A must watch for every Indian.

(Azaad)

my first mock interview

This is the best day in life of any IT student. You think to get in a company and you get selected in that. The placement fair in my college is on. I was not willing to participate but wanted to go for CAT. Then my friends and teachers tried to convince me that there was no harm in appearing for a job test. In case I don’t make up for CAT, I would still have a job in hand. And moreover, the interviews held during the process can act as a mock interview for CAT.

So finally convinced by them all, I thought I should go for it. First day of the placement, which actually was the second day according to our placement committee, TCS comes to our college. Our college can be weird sometimes. It doesn’t go by what world thinks is true. For example sometimes we have Saturdays treated as Mondays, or a Tuesday treated as a Friday. Thanks to Mr. P K Chopra and his magical spells, he can convert any day to any other day. I think the placement cell managed to get the same spell from somewhere and the first day became the second day.

So TCS comes to our college, takes half an hour boring pre-placement talk, describes about itself and manages to convince us that it is the best IT Company to go for. So a written test, based on GRE pattern is organized. A very irritating software which contained more bugs than MS Windows was installed on labs PC from where we had to give our written test. The test contained of Antonyms and synonyms of words which a normal human being seldom uses in his daily life. Then some math and logical reasoning. At the end of and hour, a message pops up saying “congrats, you have been selected for the interview.”

So the interview timing given to me was 4 PM. Dressed in formals, on that hot humid day, I went to the waiting room. Start waiting for my turn for technical interview. And guess what, my number comes at 10:30 PM. Remember that it’s a technical interview. I go in, wish the interviewer good evening. The interviewer does not seem to be much interested. He is all bored and tires and I am the last person to be interviewed for technical. Finally he starts.

Q: Tell me something about yourself.

A: -- Some pahle se prepared answer.-- :D

Q: Tell me something about your family.

A: Told him everything I knew.

Q: you have taken cryptography as an elective. Can you tell me a hindi movie in which cryptography word was used?

A: Sorry, I don’t know sir.

Q: That’s not a problem. It was Roja. Well describe all the projects you have done and written in your resume and also tell me what u have done in them.

A: -- Every possible thing I could say, I said.

Q: What is Oracle 9i?

A: I don’t know sir.

Q: But you have mentioned in your resume that you have used it.

A: Sir, it was long back and now I have forgotten what exactly it does.

Q: Oh that’s Ok. You may leave now. Thank you.

And with that interview ends and I get rejected. My first mock interview finally sees its end.

(Azaad)

A sensible man....

Well, it happened today, during the time I was taking my lunch. We were discussing about the class today (don’t worry; I am not making fool of you. I know this is Sunday and the April fools day, but we have a class on this day too; the coaching for MBAs.) It was scheduled to be taught Vocabulary today and then we had a test of what we learned from different fields. During these discussions, one of my friends pointed out that all the people who are sensible would not have gone to the coaching. I feel I had overreacted; but don’t have to do anything about our topic of discussion today.

On my way back to canteen I started thinking what the definition of a sensible man is. So I Googled it and here is what I found. Now I will try to analyze if he was right or not.

1. “Showing reason or sound judgment”. I don’t think this meaning suit to what he said. People who miss the lecture on the basis that vocab could be done anytime and that test is not important; I ask them; why is it so? You can’t afford to improve your vocabulary just 2 months before the CAT exam. It’s a continuous process. For the people whose vocabulary is fine should at least have attempted the test in order to check where they stand. Practice tests are important because they provide you with a simulation of the actual test and after you screw them, you study at least for two days. So the judgment shown by my friend was not sound. Perhaps he won’t have meant that.

2. “Able to feel or perceive”. This meaning too is not suited to what he said. People who feel that they must qualify the CAT do every effort to qualify that. So according to this theory, a sensible person would never miss the test or the lecture. In order to succeed, you must not think that your opponent (CAT) is weak and attack it by full force. So this meaning contradicts to what he said.

       3. “Capable of being perceived by the senses; apprehensible through the bodily organs;
hence, also, perceptible to the mind; making an impression upon the sense, reason, or understanding”.
 I don’t think this had anything to do with our discussion.

            4. “Easily affected”. It is observed that often people are easily affected to something which is easy
 to do. To take a test is not an easy thing. So this is again a contradiction to what our friend said.

So what do I conclude? Was my friend right? Or is there some mistake in my interpretation? I don’t say that
 I am always right but I say only what I feel. Because Main Azaad Hoon. 

(Azaad)

Software engineer's first time

A software engineer wants to have sex with his wife for the first time. So what does he do? Very simple. He takes a systematic approach.

Step 1: Prepare a document when to have sex (Project kick off).

Step 2: Prepare a 200 page document for how long you want to have sex (Project plan).

Step 3: Read various books on sex and consult as many friends a possible. On the basis of this, prepare an SRS document. This document should contain what to have rather how to have sex. (Requirement gathering phase)

Step 4: Then decide and prepare a document on how to have sex. (Design phase)

Step 5: Prepare what other accessories are needed in order to have sex. (Project framework)

Step 6: Then prepare two dummy wives and show to your wife how you are going to have sex with her. (UI Mockup and prototype)

Step 7: If your wife is not satisfied, then redo the work from step 2.

Step 8: If your wife is satisfied, you actually start having sex with her and you find that there are a few problems with the accessories. (Change framework)

Step 9: Redo step 5.

Step 10: At last finish having sex with her and go to bathroom and have a bath. (Coding over)

Step 11: Make sure that you had your sex properly. Send your wife to an obstetrician and make sure that she is not pregnant. (Testing)

Step 12: Doctor reports that your wife is pregnant. You break your head and send your wife for an abortion. (Bug in software)

Step 13: Your wife says that the quality of sex was not good. (User acceptance test)

Step 14: You slog and try to improve the quality of sex by adding new features to it.

Step 15: Now your wife says that the quality is good but it takes too much time. (Performance issue)

Step 16: Again you slog and try to improve your performance.

Step 17: Wife is happy!!!!!!!!

And by this time your wife gets old and you loose interest in having sex with her.

(आज़ाद)